In an ironic twist, after my last post, this is the first post where I’m feeling… off.
It’s low, an under-the-surface lethargy that could be contributed to not sleeping/eating well this weekend, or PMS. Sorry not sorry. My moods definitely drop around that time of the month, and even with the meds, it doesn’t seem to be different this month.
We had an AMAZING weekend though, Zach and I went up to Grandfather Mountain, just the two of us and went hiking all day Saturday. Like, I was rocking climbing and standing on the tops of the peaks and was only a little terrified. But Saturday night the other campers were partying so that, plus tent sleeping, kinda threw off my good sleep.
It hasn’t been the worst day. I am too hard on myself when I have a morning like this… where I watch YouTube for like, 2 hours, before I get up. But that underlying thing makes me just wanna lay there all day. And I think for any other person, this would just be an “off” day… but for me, it’s a warning sign. That I should be extra careful with myself because an episode COULD be coming.
This will be my first period on my doubled up meds, so maybe it won’t be so bad.
About to head to work, that usually lifts my mood as well. Something about the interaction with people, listening to music and podcasts, and doing work with my hands that I’m comfortable with and good at makes me feel better. And hopefully all the chores I did this morning after YouTube (unpacking & cleaning) mean I can have a fresh start to the day tomorrow and get some writing done. I have a story I have to finish editing and re-submit, and I’m very close to finishing the book I’m working on! Exciting.
Goal for the evening… get some good sleep. And EAT. My appetite gets weird around depression, and not eating just makes it worse. Remember to eat.