I had to go back just now and change yesterdays post. Yesterday, I thought I was only 1/10 and when I woke up this morning and felt wonderful, I realized yesterday I was more like a 4…
That’s the thing. Sometimes, even when you know all the signs and signals and you’re prepared, you don’t realize how bad you feel until you don’t feel bad.
Last night, I went out with friends and that, as usual, was a great idea.
And when I woke up this morning, I felt GREAT.
There are good days, and there are great days. I’m trying to really revel in this feeling, the easy going, happy go lucky, nothing can get me down feeling that I have had all day today. It was a wonderful busy Sunday, spent some time with friends, went to a bunch of estate sales and got some art supplies, got groceries and did a LOT of meal prep with Zach. Now I’m in my cozy bedroom with a new desk set-up and a better creative space for me… which includes a spot for me to lay on the floor.
As I sit back and really think about this day, I’m reminded that THESE are the days I fight for. Even with medication, I don’t always get days like this. But when they come, they are so wonderful. When everything is going well, and everyone in your life fits just perfect. When there are things to look forward too, and you did good work, and you got your chores done. When you can lay back and relax, listen to good music and make some art.
They’re not every day. And I suppose, some people would say that living with depression might make you appreciate these days more, maybe… it’s possible. For sure, I notice these days more, as I track my moods. And I do stop and try to breathe them in… and write about them so I can look back and remind myself that these are the days that make it all worth it.
Great days like this.