Saw the Doctor! 0/10

I went to the doctor! I most likely do not have gallstones! This was decided after the doctor pushed on my abdomen all over and all it did was tickle. He was like “if this was your gallbladder, you would not be laughing.”

Because it feels better AFTER I eat, he’s thinking ulcer 😐 which isn’t too bad I guess… I’m on a shit ton of prescription antacids and I’m trying to eat bland, easy, health food, and I’m trying noT TO STRESS OUT!

Work has slowed. I found out that I might not even have to work at all next week 😀 which would be great because I could use the time to relax/de-stress/get ready!!!

I’ve fallen out of routine lately. Spending a lot of time on my cell phone1 and not a lot of time exercising. This is the hardest part for me, to not get down on myself! I have such a perfectionist mindset, and want to do my whole life perfectly all the time. That’s not realistic. I haven’t been to the gym in a week and a half, and THAT HAS TO BE OKAY LAURA. IT HAS TOO.

Goal for tomorrow… go for a walk around the lake. Clean up the house. Lay down.

Sick 4/10

It’s 7:45am and I’m exhausted.

I cried so much last night, the combination of being tired and my stomach hurting was too much.

I’m trying to go see a specialist, but I’m stressed. This is not exactly the best time for me to make and go to the doctor. With the wedding right around the corner and my work slammed, life is busy. Plus, what if it’s something bad? It’s not like I can do any intense procedures right now 😐 and then I’m supposed to go on a honeymoon?

This is when I start cycling and it’s hard to stop. Overall, I’m able to perform most of my daily duties, but I’m fucking scared. And really frustrated. Constant pain is not something I want on my damn wedding day 😡

It’s been hard to take care of myself. I’m not eating well/much. I haven’t been to the gym in over a week which is crazy for me… I miss it, but I’m so so tired.

Ugh.

Werk 0/10

Werk is crazy. We had to stop taking orders for the weekend today because we have no time to get them done 😐 it’s been nuts. Normally I only work 25 hours a week, but when we’re this busy I work more, and that stinks because usually it cuts into my sleep and exercise time. Also, it’s physically tiring to make trophies all friggin’ day.

The good thing is we got some stuff done and I just decided to compromise and told them I could come in a couple more hours a day but I can’t do full days. It wears on my neck and my back and makes me worn out and this is nOT the week for that lol.

I know I should talk more about my depression right now, but overall I’m just dealing with getting through the wedding, and not feeling too depressed. Next week could be rough just based on the timing of the month so I’m going to try and take real good care of myself in the next couple days, try and get some good sleep, try and get my exercise in. My side still hurts, but I’m trying not to dwell on it and taking the meds I got from the doctor so hopefully it clears up before the WEDDING!

This Blog is Basically a Countdown 0/10

My day is… Clean the house, work, watch movies. Zach and I have no plans, just lay on the couch and relax! We’re watching all the wedding movies on Netflix.

Mentally I’ve been feeling pretty good… My stomach is feeling better too which means hopefully the medicine is working 👍👍👍

Work is still crazy but I’m just doing what I gotta do! Four more days of this week… Final countdown.

Goal for the night: go to bed on time.

Goal for the morning: lift

12 More Days! 0/10

Guess what is on my brain.

Wedding. All wedding.

My side still hurts every once and awhile, but it seems to be doing better. Our house is messy AF and it’s giving me an eye twitch, but I haven’t had time to clean it because we’ve been on the phone literally allfuckingday talking about wedding stuff. I’ve been on the phone with Zach’s mom, Zach’s dad, my sister, my parents, and my aunt. All today. Lol.

I’m going to go eat some cereal for dinner and hopefully clean this DANG HOUSE!!!