This could be a throwback post to that time that I worked at a yoyo company… but it’s not. Maybe I’ll tell you about that someday.
I’m just like… amazed at how my emotions seem to bounce up and down week after week. Last week we dealt with it pretty well, which I was proud of. But today I feel great. It’s a beautiful day, I had a really nice weekend, and even though I have to go to work, I don’t feel dread about it. Although, always, I’d rather be home/doing what I want to do.
I’m sure everyone feels like this on some level. I think with depression I just have more frequent lows, and possibly more intense, although there are others that I’m sure have it much, much worse. But it does really get me thinking that I’m so glad to have a morning like this. Just a beautiful sunshine-y day and I went for a hike in the woods and it was so, so lovely.
Having the cushion in my day to go for walks and cook food for myself makes such a big difference. I normally only work part time hours (25/week) and that is just enough to make me feel like I can take care of myself. I’m so SO lucky that we are able to afford this. A lot of the problems I was struggling with through this year were linked with the 40-50 hours I was working a week.
I have to be careful with myself, because it makes me feel like I’m not “normal.” Because I can’t live the status quo and work a regular schedule like most of the people I know, without suffering from a lot of depression. It makes me feel like I’m the weird one, when, if I think about it, 40 hour work weeks are weird. I wish everyone could start off their mornings like I do… no alarm clock… nice walk… cooked breakfast. What a nice thought.
I’m hoping to get this blog going daily, eventually, after the wedding. We are at LESS THAN A MONTH!!! and although much of it is planned, there are a lot of little details to wrap up as we get closer and closer to the day. I can’t wait 🙂