I have felt off-kilter for a couple months now. October and November between work, the wedding, and the holidays… it’s all knocked me off my routine. But, should I be sticking to a routine? I think usually it’s good, it keeps me sleeping well, eating well, and being productive and following goals. But then when I’m not on routine I feel bad about myself. I look down on myself for not WORKING ON MY BOOK or POSTING ON THIS BLOG and yes those caps are me yelling at myself.
I guess I should focus on trying to be more balanced, but that’s what I struggle with the most. I’m either all or nothing and I’ve found it hard to walk the line in between. I can either watch 7 hours of Netflix OR clean the entire house from top to bottom and do all the chores. But I can’t do both? Weirdly?
I’m always in this push and pull of wanting to do more and wanting to do less. The to-do list is never ending. I rarely prioritize things like my writing… and sometimes exercise and good eating fall behind too. But my house is always clean.
IDK how to work in an unclean environment or how to loosen my restrictions. Maybe I should start small, and try and prioritize my writing BEFORE cleaning? Or restructure my day… I’d be up to something to change so I can have a better routine without feeling like I’m my own torturer… One of the things on that list is posting here more so GOOD JOB SELF YOU DID IT TODAY!1