I feel better today than I did last night.
For one thing – I found a great job to apply for.
Although, let me be clear, I do NOT want to leave my current job. I’m just afraid that with the way it’s currently going, I might not be able to stay. The perfect thing for me would be for the ship to right itself, and this worrying was for nothing. I really like my job. I’m good at it. I love my manager. And the hours are great. But we’ll see.
I’m still applying to things just in case, and I’m applying to something that I really WANT to do. Something that might actually start a career for me… holy shit… at 29. Finally.
Here’s the thing though… I haven’t been planning on job hunting. I planned on staying in this job… forever. Until I popped out some babies in a few years. I started this blog with the idea that it would be okay to put myself on the page in my current position. I worked in the back without a lot of interaction with clients, and this wouldn’t be a problem. By this I mean, putting all my shit out on the internet. I don’t know if talking about my depression is such an issue, but I do curse a lot. And I’m pretty open about talking about everything and anything so, mehhhhhh, who knows…
The good thing is that when you Google my full name, this site doesn’t pop up. I haven’t attached it to anything that says it’s me. Hopefully, once I have a position, it won’t be a problem, because they know who I am, they’ve met me in person. Ugh. I’ve done all I can to make sure my internet presence is “hire-able.” So, that’s all I can do.
Wish me luuuuuuuuuck. Wish me luck that nothing changes, and my work is ALL GOOD.