Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop…

So, as you know, I’ve been worried for this period of “up” to go away.

I figured this was the mid-month period when my hormones are cooking the way they should and sooner or later it was inevitable that they would drain away and I’d get grumpy.

Then, surprise! Got my period at work today. I had no idea it was coming. I have tracked it on an app for 3 years so I’m always prepared, and because I’ve been feeling so great lately I didn’t think that it was even close to time.

The good news is, I still had a great day today! And I even bumped my weight up when I was lifting. Amazing.

But I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe that’s a good thing, and I can’t get disillusioned. Maybe that’s sad because there’s always an asterisk on my happiness. Maybe.

Zach told me that he was proud of me. That I seem to have gotten a lot better. I credit most of that to the doubling of my meds. But some of it is me. And I was the one who let them double my meds. So, good for me.

2 thoughts on “Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop…

  1. There’s always something to worry about. That’s what my dad, one of the happiest people I know, told me. The Buddhist approach is to let go of the expectation that you will be happy in the future and simply appreciate that you are happy in the present.

    1. That’s a great way to view it. I guess what I feel like is more like… with depressive episodes it can be SO sudden. Like everything is great and then BAM omg I feel awful. So, you’re kind of always nervously waiting for it to kick you in the face LOL

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